(Specific dialogues appear in color-coded text: Anakin Skywalker's comments appear in yellow and Obi-Wan Kenobi's comments appear in blue, while other character's comments appear in white.)
(An examination of the interactions between Anakin Skywalker and other individuals can be found here.)
29 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 12 years of age)
____________________
Obi-Wan, against all his personal inclinations, had made it his duty to know the ins and outs of anything having to do with illegal racing, anywhere within a hundred kilometers of the Jedi Temple. Anakin Skywalker, his charge, his responsibility, was one of the best Padawans in the Temple - easily fulfilling the promise sensed by Qui-Gon Jinn - but as if to compensate for this promise, to bring a kind of balance to the boy's lopsided brace of abilities, Anakin had an equal brace of faults.
His quest for speed and victory was easily the most aggravating and dangerous. Qui-Gon Jinn had perhaps encouraged this in the boy by allowing him to race for his own freedom, three years before, on Tatooine.
But Qui-Gon could not justify his actions now.
____________________
How often it had struck him that this topsy-turvy relationship with Qui-Gon had once more been neatly reversed - with Anakin!
There were always two, Master and Padawan. And it was sometimes said in the Temple that the best pairs were those who complemented each other.
He had once vowed, after a particularly trying moment, that he would reward himself with a year of isolation on a desert planet, far from Coruscant and any Padawans he might be assigned, once he was free of Anakin. But this did not stop him from carrying out his duties to the boy with an exacting passion.
____________________
"Keep your wings up, keep them high!"
"Why? I cannot vault the two of us out of this mess."
"I still have fuel!"
"And I have almost none. These are terrible devices, very difficult to control."
"We can combine our fuel!"
...
"I'll never be this stupid again."
"Tell it to the Council. I have no doubt that's where we'll both be, if we manage to accomplish six impossible things in the next two minutes."
____________________
The boy's eyes widened in realization. He stared at Obi-Wan. "Master, I realize my error!"
Thracia pressed her lips together and turned to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan folded his arms. He and Anakin might have been brothers, separated by only a double handful of years, yet Obi-Wan was the closest thing the boy could ever have to a father. "Yes?"
"I sought out personal peace and satisfaction in the pit race, rather than thinking of the greater goals of the Jedi."
"And?" Obi-Wan encouraged.
"I mean, I know it was wrong to sneak out of the Temple, to mislead my Master, to engage in illegal activity that could have brought disrepute on the Order -"
"A long list," Mace Windu said.
"But... I pursued personal goals even after it should have been obvious to me that the Temple was being threatened."
"Very serious, indeed," Thracia murmured. She took Anakin by the shoulders, then glanced at Obi-Wan to see if she could intervene. He assented, though with some misgivings. Thracia was renowned for training female Jedi, not for preparing young males.
"Anakin, your powers, someday, could surpass those of anyone in this room. But what happens when you push something harder?"
"It moves faster," Anakin said.
She nodded. "You are propelled by an inheritance few can understand." Thracia dropped her hands from his shoulders. "Obi-Wan?"
"Moving faster gives you little time to think," Obi-Wan continued where she had left off. "You must temper your passions, but be less concerned, for now, with being free from your pain. Youth is a time of uncertainty and unrest."
"Couldn't have put it better myself," Thracia said. "Anakin, be a child. Revel in it. Test your limits. Irritate and provoke. It is your way. Time enough for wisdom when you've worn more holes in your shoes. Run your master ragged! It'll be good for him. It'll remind him of when he was a boy. And... tell us what you need, now, to go where you must finally go in your training."
____________________
Perhaps what bothered Obi-Wan was that he would be entirely in charge of Anakin. In the Temple, Anakin had been surrounded by many Jedi and Jedi auxiliaries, including the staff, who had taken some of the burden off Obi-Wan. They had played the role of family, and Anakin had eaten up their attention.
The truth was, Obi-Wan was not sure he was up to the task. Obi-Wan tended to arrange his thoughts and his life in orderly rows. Anakin Skywalker kicked those orderly rows asunder whenever he could.
____________________
With Anakin, the boundaries between Master and apprentice were often erased. It was all too common for him to realize he could learn from the boy. In his weaker moments he felt that was not the proper way of things.
But there it was.
The danger - and it was a real danger - was that Anakin could not and did not exercise a proper control over his talents, his brilliance, his power. He was, most of the time, just a boy on the edge of manhood, and liable to all the mistakes one would normally expect.
It had not happened yet, but Obi-Wan was certain that someday soon the danger would come not from the boyish energy and adventurous hijinks, but from a misapplication of the Force.
Perhaps that was what caused him the unease.
Perhaps not.
____________________
"You look thoughtful."
"I'm allowed to, aren't I?" Anakin asked.
"As long as you don't brood," Obi-Wan said. The look on his Master's face was both irritated and concerned. Anakin suddenly jumped out of his chair and hugged his Master with a fierceness that took Obi-Wan by surprise.
Obi-Wan held the boy gently and let the moment flow into its own shape. Some Padawans were like quiet pools, their minds like simple texts. Only in training did they acquire depth and complexity that showed maturity. Anakin had been a deep and complex mystery from the first day they met, and yet Obi-Wan had never felt such a strength of connection with any other being - not even Qui-Gon Jinn.
____________________
"Peculiar customs. They seem to prefer their clients be misinformed and kept off-balance."
"At least they haven't checked us for weapons," Anakin said.
"Oh, but they think they have," Obi-Wan said.
"You did that... without my knowing?" Anakin asked.
Obi-Wan smiled.
"You surprise me all the time, Master," Anakin said with a touch of awe. "But that's what an apprentice should expect from his teacher."
Obi-Wan lifted one brow.
"We make a great team, don't we?" the boy said with a sudden grin. His face colored with the expectation of adventure.
"We do," Obi-Wan agreed.
"I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're my Master, Obi-Wan," Anakin said. He gave a small shiver, then he, also, rubbed his palms on his tunic, held them out, and looked around. Obi-Wan had learned years ago that Anakin could become both expressive and imitative whenever he felt excited or ill at ease.
____________________
"It's out there now. It's closing in."
"Do you see its shape more clearly?"
"It's a time of trial. For me."
"Do you fear it?" Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin shook his head but kept staring up at the red and orange sky. "I fear my reaction. What if I'm not good enough?"
"I have trust in you."
____________________
A memory of a time before he was apprenticed to Qui-Gon. Youth: painful, awkward, brighter than a thousand suns. A youth filled with dreams of travel and fast ships and endless glory, an infinite futurity of challenge and mastery and, all in good time, knowledge, wisdom.
No different from Anakin Skywalker.
Not in anything that truly mattered.
If only I could believe that! Obi-Wan thought.
____________________
"He's very pretty," [Jabitha] said. "Should we just let him sleep? There's time."
Anakin slept like a baby in the girl's presence. That was significant. Obi-Wan was well aware of the boy's frequent nightmares. He seemed much younger, asleep. Obi-Wan could easily bring back in memory the nine-year-old who had become his apprentice, now grown two hand spans taller - the same pleasant broad features, the nose a little larger.
He misses the female. Thracia Cho Leem knew that.
Obi-Wan reached out, then hesitated. He felt a strong urge not to wake the boy, to let him sleep like this forever, to forever anticipate a great adventure, forever dream of personal triumph and joy. This feeling held too much sentiment and weakness to be allowed, but he allowed it nevertheless. This must be how a father feels, looking down on his son, worried about an uncertain future, Obi-Wan thought. I would hate to see him fail. But I would hate far more to lose this boy. I would almost rather freeze time here, and freeze myself with it, than face that.
____________________
"I dreamed I was with Qui-Gon," Anakin said. "He was teaching me something... I forgot what." The boy smiled and stretched his arms. "He said to tell you hello. He said you're so hard to talk to." Anakin ran for the ramp and stepped up onto the ledge of stone.
Obi-Wan stood as if stunned by a blow, then set his jaw and followed his Padawan.
____________________
Obi-Wan nodded, still flexing his fingers. He knew that Anakin was alive, but he also knew that something significant had happened, a minor unknotting in the boy's pathway. He could not tell if the outcome was positive or negative.
To bring back a spiritually damaged boy of Anakin's abilities might be worse than finding him dead. It seemed cruel, but Obi-Wan knew it was a simple truth. Qui-Gon would have agreed.
____________________
Obi-Wan folded his arms. He was still chilled by the memory of the Blood Carver, the manner in which he had died. Anakin had made his first kill in direct combat. I know it was in self-defense. He did it without a lightsaber, against a much stronger foe. Why then do I feel that something went badly wrong?
____________________
There would be many more battles for his apprentice, many more disappointments. And many more joys. More joys than sadnesses, Obi-Wan fervently hoped.
This was how it was, how it felt, to have the heart of a Master.
____________________
Obi-Wan Kenobi has his work cut out for him. The young man, his Padawan, is growing stronger, overcoming disappointment, acquiring discipline. But the knot in Anakin's future has not completely loosened. The trial is not over; it may not be over for decades.
No balance.
No balance yet.
29 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 12 years of age)
____________________
"Go ahead," Obi-Wan told him. "Take some time off."
Anakin had looked at him uncertainly, but Obi-Wan shooed him off. It puzzled and worried Obi-Wan how much time his Padawan spent alone. Anakin had told him that he'd had good friends on Tatooine, especially a human boy named Kitster. He'd been at the Temple for three years now, but he hadn't made one close friend, although he was well liked and certainly got along with the other kids.
Obi-Wan had tried to talk to him about it, but the boy would just shut down. His eyes would turn opaque and the corners of his mouth would straighten into a thin line. He would seem very far away. Obi-Wan did now know how to reach him at such times, but they were infrequent and passed as quickly as a rain shower. When they'd met, Anakin had been a warm-hearted nine-year-old boy with an open nature. He was twelve and a half now, and the years had changed him. He had grown to be a boy who hid is heart.
____________________
"I thought you wanted to swim," Obi-Wan said.
That shuttered look came over Anakin's face. "I had work to do," he muttered.
Obi-Wan crouched by him. "This isn't work, Anakin. It's a hobby. And if you are using it to keep distance between you and your fellow students, it's not a helpful one."
Anakin looked up, his bright eyes keen again.
"But I'm making things, Master! Look, I've almost got this astromech ready for service."
"Mechanical ability is a valuable skill," Obi-Wan said. "That is not what I meant, and you know it."
"They don't want me," Anakin said flatly. He walked over and slung the legs of a protocol droid under one arm. "I'm not like them."
Obi-Wan couldn't argue. Anakin was unique. There was no question about that. He was an exceptional student, much more in tune with the Force than others his age. He had come late to the Temple. It wasn't that the other students disliked him, they just didn't know what to make of him.
When did it happen? Obi-Wan wondered again. Why did it happen? Was it the loss of his mother, followed so closely by the death of Qui-Gon? Obi-Wan could not replace those people in Anakin's heart, nor did he wish to. He had hoped that with Jedi training and their own relationship, Anakin would come to find peace. He had not.
____________________
Obi-Wan's gaze cleared, and he looked at Anakin with his usual keenness. "You see why the Jedi Masters at the Temple often speak to you of anger and fear, Anakin. They have seen what it can do. So have I."
"I have, too," Anakin volunteered. "I was a slave, remember, and the son of a slave? I was not brought up in the Temple surrounded by fountains and peace and gentleness. I think I know better than anyone what fear and anger can do."
Anakin's voice was suddenly harsh. Obi-Wan paused, letting the tone remain in the air between them. "I have not forgotten that, Anakin," he said quietly. "Nor should you. It is part of what shapes you. But if that memory always brings you back to your anger, you must find a way to think of it differently."
____________________
"I don't care what Yoda says," Anakin remarked. "I think discovering sabotage, helping an evacuation, and guiding a crippled ship to safety counts as a mission."
Obi-Wan smiled. "It was a mission, Anakin."
"Good," Anakin said with satisfaction. "There are some things I don't understand about it, though."
"That is usually the case after a mission."
"How could Kad forgive his father at the end?" Anakin burst out. "He had betrayed him. He could have been responsible for countless deaths."
"Yes, he did many bad things," Obi-Wan agreed. "But he asked his son for forgiveness when he was dying. There must have been good in him. I think it is a mark of Kad's character that he was able to forgive his father."
Anakin shook his head. "I still don't understand it."
"Would you forgive Yoda if he did something terrible?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Yoda would never do something terrible," Anakin said firmly.
"No, I don't think he would," Obi-Wan said. "But you must remember always, Anakin, the strength of the Dark side."
____________________
"It is a good ending for your first mission, Anakin. Sometimes evil beings escape. We do what we can."
"But I always want to win," Anakin said.
Obi-Wan frowned. "Missions are not about winning and losing. They are about leaving good behind.
____________________
Frustration bit inside him. Obi-Wan tried to understand him. He loved his Master for that. But no one could understand. Not his fellow students at the Temple, not his teachers, not even Yoda, who seemed to understand so much. Would he always feel apart from the others because of this backgrounf? And would that feeling of separation mean that he would never become as great a Knight as Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan? It was his greatest fear.
Anakin turned back towards the shelter of the spaceport, toward friends, warmth, light, and his Master. The future would come, he told himself. At that moment, all he felt was grateful that he had Obi-Wan to show him the way.
29 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 12 years of age)
____________________
The boy needed guidance, Obi-Wan knew. A decade earlier, his own Master had skillfully led him in the right direction - away from anger and frustration. It had kept Obi-Wan firmly on the Jedi path. When Qui-Gon died, Obi-Wan had promised to give that guidance to Anakin.
Obi-Wan remembered Anakin's angry outburst at Dr. Lundi when they were first on the ship. Anger was dangerous. Perhaps he should be warning his apprentice about the Dark side - that it was an easy path to power, but also to self-destruction.
The problem was, he did not know how to put the words together. He did not know what exactly to say. And whenever he offered Anakin this kind of guidance, the boy brushed it aside. It was almost as if Anakin thought that the things Obi-Wan was trying to warn him about did not apply to him.
With a sigh, Obi-Wan wished that Qui-Gon were still alive. He would know just what to say, what to do. He would be able to get through to Anakin.
____________________
Obi-Wan rushed onto the bridge, eager to see his Padawan. But what he saw from the doorway was so surprising it stopped him in his tracks.
The professor's cage was empty and its door was hung open. Anakin sat on the floor. He was cradling Lundi in his lap.
"I understand now," Lundi said in a hoarse whisper. "Some things are better left at the bottom of the sea."
Lundi gasped for air, and Obi-Wan suddenly realized that the Quermian was dying. He stepped forward and looked briefly into his eye. He finally saw what he'd always hoped he's see - remorse and fear.
"I just... just hope it's not too late," Lundi finished. His fragile body shuddered and went limp, and Anakin laid him gently on the floor. Dr. Murk Lundi was dead.
Several emotions clashed inside Obi-Wan. Confusion, frustration, relief...
Anakin turned to face him. "I knew he was going to die," he explained. "And I didn't think he should end his life in a cage. So I let him out. I thought it was the right thing to do." His face was full of worry, and Obi-Wan realized that he had probably upset the boy with his outburst on Kodai.
"It's all right, Padawan," Obi-Wan said, placing a hand on Anakin's shoulder. He had much to learn as a Jedi Master, he realized. And it had taken him and Qui-Gon years of working together to develop their strong ties of trust. Those ties would develop for him and Anakin as well, in time. As for Lundi, it didn't matter now. The Quermian and his evil were gone.
Obi-Wan saw relief wash over Anakin's young face. "I'm sorry about the hologram message," he said. "I didn't mean to keep it from you, I just -"
Obi-Wan nodded. "I know," he said. "I should not have reacted so strongly. Next time, we will do better."
28 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 13 years of age)
____________________
In his short time at the Temple, Anakin's progress had been astonishing. By everything that was measurable, he exceeded expectations. He was at the top of his class in lightsaber training, piloting, memory skills, and the most important goal of all - connection to the Force.
Yet it was exactly his quick progress that gave Obi-Wan pause. Things came too easily to him. There was a danger of recklessness and arrogance inherent in his power. Anakin had a tendency to take matters into his own hands. He could be impetuous and make his own way, disregarding advice.
Just as Obi-Wan once did. Just as Qui-Gon once did. That was what Obi-Wan always came back to. He had made grave mistakes at Anakin's age. He wanted to allow Anakin the freedom to do the same.
____________________
Obi-Wan nodded. There was something about this boy that wound around his heart. During the course of their missions together he had seen firsthand Anakin's impulsive generosity, his loyalty, his thirst to learn.
Remember, Padawan, that most beings are essentially unknowable. There are mysteries at the heart that can surprise even those who think they know themselves.
____________________
Obi-Wan put a hand on his sleeve. "Remember your training, Anakin," he said. "Let your fear enter you. Do not battle it. There is no shame in it. Your feelings are your strength. Experience them and let them go as you proceed toward your goal. There are lessons to be learned from fear and anger. Face those lessons and move on with calm and justice."
"I know all these things," Anakin said, a trace of impatience in his voice.
"No," Obi-Wan said softly, "you do not. But you will."
____________________
"With all respect to the Council and the Senate," Obi-Wan said, "I am not certain that we are the correct team for this assignment."
Anakin could not resist an incredulous look at his Master. What was Obi-Wan doing? They were the perfect team for this assignment!
"The Council might recall that Anakin was once a slave himself," Obi-Wan continued. "He is sensitive to this issue. And as a young Padawan -"
"I am not too young!" Anakin broke in. "And I'm not too sensitive!"
____________________
At the end of the corridor, Obi-Wan sensed that Anakin was not behind him. He turned. "What is it?"
"I can't leave." Anakin shook his head firmly. "We aren't finished. We have to destroy Krayn."
"That is not our mission, Anakin -"
Grimly, Anakin turned away. "It's mine."
He turned in the opposite direction from Obi-Wan and began to run.
Shocked, Obi-Wan couldn't move for a moment. Anakin had caught him completely off balance. He hadn't seen this coming.
He should have.
____________________
"Anakin, I have no time to argue with you. We must go."
"There are patrols everywhere. I can't find Krayn."
"Our best chance to destroy this operation is to leave this ship at once."
"But he's here, now! We can destroy him."
"Marking a being for death is not the Jedi way."
"Even when that being enslaves others, kills them as if they were nothing, imprisons them against their will? I heard the slaves beg you to help them. I saw you turn your back on them. How can you abandon them to such misery? Every day for a slave is another chance to die. Killing Krayn will free them. How can you do this?"
"Anakin, you must be logical. How can I help them? If we want to bring down Krayn's empire, we must have a plan. We can't just sneak aboard his ship and hope to run into him."
"It seems as good a plan as any."
"It's not. And it could result in our deaths of many. If one miscalculation or mistake on our part occurs, Krayn will take his revenge on those he controls - the slaves. Our best plan is to leave now and get the Council to pledge their resources to bring down Krayn. There will be no more arguments here. Time is running out. Guards are most likely searching for us now, and I don't think the Colicoids will wait for our return much longer. Now come. You must understand that this is the best way."
"You're the one who doesn't understand!"
Obi-Wan was startled at Anakin's vehemence, but he kept his gaze on him, willing him to obey.
Anakin hesitated. He cast his eyes down sullenly. He would not disobey a direct order. Reluctantly, he nodded. Obi-Wan could tell that fury and frustration boiled within him.
They would need time to sort this out.
____________________
Obi-Wan studied his face. It was so boyish and open. The glimpse he had seen of something dark, something feral, in the fight with Krayn was fading. The boy he knew had taken its place. Anakin had explained that Krayn still held a blaster. His life had been in danger. He had not violated the Jedi code by killing him.
Yet Obi-Wan still felt doubts. Doubts he could not share.
____________________
What was making him so uneasy?
Was it the memory of what he's seen on Anakin's face in the battle with Krayn? His Padawan had been in the heart of battle and afraid for his life. He felt that Krayn was about to shoot. He had every reason to kill him. He had not killed him out of anger and revenge.
Yet when Anakin had turned to face him fully, his expression had been so empty. His gaze held neither triumph nor distress. Only blankness.
____________________
I will not abandon him, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan privately vowed. I see what you see. I see how he struggles. I see his immense capacity for good.
27 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 14 years of age)
____________________
C'baoth shifted his attention to the young teen standing at Kenobi's side, and a slight smile finally touched the corners of his lips. "Master Skywalker, isn't it?" he said in a friendlier tone.
"Yes, Master C'baoth," Anakin said, and Lorana couldn't help but smile herself at the earnest gravity in the boy's voice. "It's an honor to see you again."
"As it is likewise an honor for me to meet once more with such a promising Padawan," C'baoth replied. "Tell me, how goes your training?"
Anakin glared at Kenobi. "There's always more to learn, of course," he said. "I can only hope my progress is satisfactory."
"His progress is more than satisfactory," Kenobi put in. "At this rate, he'll be a full Jedi before he's twenty."
Lorana winced. She herself was already twenty-two, and C'baoth had made no mention of recommending her for Jedi Knighthood anytime soon. Was Anakin that much stronger in the Force that she was?
"And yet he began his training so much later than usual," C'baoth pointed out, smiling almost fondly at the boy. "That makes his development even more impressive."
"Indeed," Kenobi said. "In hindsight, I think it's clear that the Council made the right decision in permitting me to train him."
____________________
With a sigh, Obi-Wan shut off his comlink and slipped it back into his belt. "Still nothing?" Anakin asked.
"No," Obi-Wan said, throwing a look at the darkening sky. The stars were starting to appear, and all around them house lights were coming on as families settled in for the evening.
Anakin muttered something under his breath. "We should have tried calling her earlier."
"We did try calling her earlier," Obi-Wan told him. "You were just too busy playing with Duefgrin's swoop to notice."
"Excuse me, Master, but I was working, not playing," Anakin said stiffly. "The Brolf we're looking for is named Jhompfi, he lives in the Covered Brush house ring, and he's supposedly using the burst thrusters on a speeder bike he uses to smuggle rissle sticks out to the Karfs."
Obi-Wan stared at his Padawan. "When did you get all that?"
"When you were wandering around the neighborhood looking for clues," Anakin said. It was hard to sound hurt and smug at the same time, but the boy managed to pull it off. "Those were the only times he'd talk to me." He wrinkled his nose. "I don't think he trusts grown-ups very much."
"You should have said something the minute you had that information," Obi-Wan said tartly, slipping the guide card into his datapad and keying for a house ring search. "Or hadn't it occurred to you that Lorana might be in trouble?"
"No, but it occurred to me that if we left too suddenly, Duefgrin might have called Jhompfi and warned him," Anakin retorted.
"Mind your place, Padawan," Obi-Wan warned the boy. It was a warning he seemed to be delivering more and more often these days.
Anakin gave a theatrical sigh. "My apologies, Master."
27 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 14 years of age)
____________________
Obi-Wan watched Anakin's progress with an eye that was both loving and careful. In one hand he held Qui-Gon's faith; in the other he held Yoda's caution. There were times it was hard to balance these two powerful influences.
On the morning of Anakin's thirteenth birthday, Obi-Wan had presented him with his Padawan gift. It was the gift that Qui-Gon had given Obi-Wan on his own thirteenth birthday, a Force-sensitive river stone. Obi-Wan was ashamed to remember how he'd been disappointed by the gift. He had been so young. He had wanted something significant, something like the gifts other Padawans had received - special hilts for their lightsabers or cloaks made from the lightweight, warm wool from the planet Pasmin. Instead, Qui-Gon had given him a rock.
Yet that present had turned into his most valued possession. The smooth black stone glowed with heat against his heart. It had warmed his cold hands on many planets. It had nestled inside a tiny pocket his friend Bant had swen in his tunic, close to his heart.
It was hard to give up. But somehow he knew Qui-Gon would want him to.
Unlike Obi-Wan's first reaction, Anakin's face showed deep appreciation. Then his expression clouded. "Are you sure?" he asked. "This was given to you by Qui-Gon."
"He would want you to have it, as I do. It is my most treasured possession." Obi-Wan reached out and closed Anakin's fingers over the stone. "I hope it will be with you always to remind you of Qui-Gon and me, of our deep regard for you."
Anakin's smile lit his face. "I'll treasure it. Thank you, Master."
In many ways, Anakin was more openhearted, more generous than he had once been, Obi-Wan thought. Though there was a great weight on Anakin due to the prophecy, he was sure that Anakin would do well.
Now Anakin was fourteen. He was an able Padawan who had already proven himself on several important missions. Yet there was one thing that nagged Obi-Wan. Anakin was liked by other students, but he had no close friends. He was not loved.
Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin's gifts naturally set him apart. But in his heart, he grieved for Anakin's loneliness. He was happy for Anakin's skill and growing command of the Force. But he wished a simple thing for Anakin. It was something he could not give his Padawan. It was not a gift he could hand over, like a well-loved river stone. He wished for a friend.
____________________
Obi-Wan drew Anakin aside. "You fought well, my young Padawan," he told him.
"Thank you, Master."
"But you fought for yourself," Obi-Wan continued. "First of all, you did not obey Siri's order at once. And when Ferus stepped forward to engage the droids, he did so in the expectation that the two of you would work together. Instead, you fought as though you were fighting alone. You will never be a great Jedi warrior if you do not practice teamwork and dedicate yourself to the greater Jedi goal."
It was his Master's most disapproving tone. Anakin knew better than to try to defend himself. Hadn't Ferus fought for himself, too? Hadn't he stepped forward without consulting Anakin, without a word as to his intentions? Why was Ferus right, and he wrong?
"Yes, Master," he said.
Obi-Wan stepped back. He never said more than he needed to. He never added reassurance after a correction.
____________________
He knew what Obi-Wan would say. It didn't matter who suggested it. The outcome was the goal. Resentment was ego. He knew all this, but it did not chase the resentment away.
You can feel the emotion, Obi-Wan would say. Just let it go.
Anakin gritted his teeth. I'm trying, Master.
____________________
So yes, I'm worried, Obi-Wan thought. But I will only admit that to myself. I don't worry that Anakin will fail. Or that he will let down the Order. But that he will try too hard. That he will go too far. That he will assume he can do what he cannot.
____________________
"I am proud of you," he told him. "Not only did you act bravely, you worked well with the other Padawans. I heard how you collaborated on the final plan to rescue us. You have learned a valuable Jedi lesson. You submitted your own will to listen to others. As a result, you gained strength."
"I was ready to rush after you to fight the droids," Anakin admitted. "It was Ferus who stopped me. He was right." He was also lucky, Anakin thought. The plan had almost gone awry. If Anakin had not managed to blast through the rock slide, four Jedi Masters and two Padawans would be dead.
But no one was bringing that up. Was Anakin the only one thinking it?
Obi-Wan would say it did not matter. What had happened, had happened. Jedi did not waste their time on ifs.
But Anakin couldn't look at it that way. The ifs were what intrigued him. The spaces between the rules.
If Ferus had been more lucky than right, had submitting his will been the right thing after all? He knew the question was not a Jedi question. He would not ask it of Obi-Wan.
It was his question. Only he could find the answer.
27 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 14 years of age)
____________________
By midday, Anakin and Obi-Wan had to admit they were lost. Wren's clues had grown increasingly difficult, and Anakin's cocky confidence had hardened into dogged revolution.
Frustrated, Anakin suddenly stopped. With one smooth motion, he swiped a rock and tossed it into the woods. It hit a tree with a satisfying thud.
"Feel better?" Obi-Wan asked.
"No."
"I didn't think so. Frustration is part of this exercise, young Padawan."
"I know, I know," Anakin muttered. "Breathe in my impatience. Then let it go."
"Correct," Obi-Wan said serenely. He waited a moment. "Well?"
"Well, what?"
"I didn't see you breathe." Obi-Wan knew he was straining the patience of his Padawan. Yet these small tests were good lessons.
Obediently, Anakin shut his eyes. He took a breath and released it. He opened one eye. "Can I stop now?"
"I suppose." Obi-Wan grinned. "If Wren could see you now, he'd be very happy."
A gleam of humor lit Anakin's eyes. "The day isn't over yet."
____________________
"This way!" he called triumphantly. "We'll catch him yet."
Smiling, Obi-Wan followed Anakin through the forest. This was what he'd hoped for. Anakin had forgotten his impatience with the exercise and what he'd thought was his secret feeling that it was a waste of time. He was now filled with the excitement of the chase.
...
"It's a dead end," Anakin said, disappointed. "But I was so sure Wren came this way!"
"Hold on," Obi-Wan said. "Look around you. You might be missing something. Remember your Temple exercise to explore the present moment. Close your eyes."
Anakin closed his eyes. Obi-Wan waited until he was sure his Padawan had focused. "What did you see?"
"Bark and leaves under my feet. Sheer wall ten meters ahead with insufficient handholds for climbing. Small plant growing in one crevice thirty meters up. Snow dusting at top of cliff. Bird circling twenty degrees to my right. At the base of the rock wall, what appears to be a small opening - a den of a small animal, or -" Anakin's eyes popped open. "A cave."
Obi-Wan smiled. He had seen the entrance to the cave minutes before. "Let's see what it is."
...
"It's not as small as it looks," Obi-Wan said. "It could be the nest of den of an animal."
"It looks like it opens up," Anakin said, peering inside. "Let me go in."
Obi-Wan hesitated. He would rather be first. But part of this exercise was also for the Master. He had to learn to let go, to allow his Padawan to test his skills. He knew Anakin was well trained and could handle what lay beyond.
"All right, Padawan."
____________________
"The malia den, and now this," Anakin said when he could speak. He shook his head, sending water droplets flying. "Did I misinterpret the clues, Master? They seemed so clear."
"No, I think we went the right way off the trail," Obi-Wan said. "But we shouldn't have gone through the cavern. Jedi clues are designed to be difficult, not life-threatening."
Anakin flushed. It was his fault. In his impatience to impress his Master, he had rushed into the malia den and into the cavern.
But Obi-Wan wouldn't say anything. That was the trouble. It was worse for Anakin to have to wonder what his Master was thinking.
____________________
He could sense that his Master was uneasy. Something was bothering him. But Obi-Wan did not confide.
He never does, Anakin thought. How can we get closer if he keeps all his thoughts to himself?
He had to speak or he would burst. Anakin stopped and turned around. "You never tell me what you're thinking," he said.
Obi-Wan stopped. "You should be careful when you use words like 'never' and 'always,' Padawan," he said. "Things are rarely so absolute. You should be more precise. Clarity of mind is important for a Jedi."
Another lesson. Must there be so many? "Yes, Master." Anakin turned and continued up the mountain. He had only gone a few meters when he realized that Obi-Wan had never addressed what he's said.
That's because he knows it's true. He had perfect communication with Qui-Gon, and he knows he can never achieve that with me.
He had been right all along. This exercise was a waste of time.
____________________
You never tell me what you're thinking.
Why hadn't he answered his Padawan? Instead, he had corrected him. Obi-Wan's mind churned, and his heart felt heavy. He did not know why he had deflected Anakin's feelings, but he knew that he had been deeply unfair to his Padawan.
Anakin could speak so easily of his feelings. He often spoke without thinking, often spilled out exactly what was in his heart. It was behavior that was not like a Jedi.
And I correct him. Is that right?
Obi-Wan knew why Anakin was this way. It was because of Shmi. Anakin's mother had given him a great gift. She had given him an open heart. His feelings were deep and spontaneous. That was a good thing. But they sometimes led him to act too fast, to make quick judgments.
He is the opposite of me, Obi-Wan thought. It has always been difficult for me to speak what is in my heart.
Anakin had been wrong to say he never told him anything. Obi-Wan only held back what he thought Anakin did not need to know, just as Qui-Gon had done with him. Obi-Wan had begun to suspect that Wren's clues were not right, but he felt it was better for Anakin to discover this on his own. He could see that Anakin's eagerness to find Wren was clouding his judgment. Perhaps Anakin was being less careful because he was not on a mission, but an exercise.
There were things it was not proper for a Master to share with his Padawan. Yet Anakin wanted Obi-Wan to share everything.
____________________
Obi-Wan eyed the Tursha. "I wish I could ask him some questions. I'd like to know if he's operating alone."
"We're running out of time," Anakin said. "Floria's group is supposed to rendezvous with the space cruiser in less than an hour."
"You are too focused on Floria's problem," Obi-Wan rebuked him. "There is a larger issue here, and possibly more important things at stake. What is happening on this planet? We won't find out if we leave."
"We have to leave," Anakin said. "We promised Floria.'
"We promised to help her," Obi-Wan said. "I'm not sure what that will entail. Not yet. Have you given no thought to your fellow Jedi? What if something happened to Wren?"
"We don't know that," Anakin argued. "And we do know that something happened to Floria's friends. So I say we go with what we know. Aren't I supposed to tune into my feelings?"
An odd look passed over his Master's face. "Your feelings are important, Padawan," he said kindly. "And they are important to me. But you are being swayed by emotion. That is different from following your feelings. You should know the difference by now. Gather the Force around you. See what it tells you."
Annoyed at Obi-Wan's rebuke, Anakin turned away.
He gazed at the trees, letting the tones of green invade him, letting the noise of the rustling leaves calm him. He gathered in the Force.
____________________
"It is confusing. There seem to be several sources of darkness, and at the same time, only one."
Obi-Wan nodded. "That is what I sense, too."
"But I don't get any feeling about Wren. Perhaps he is in danger," Anakin said reluctantly. He didn't want Obi-Wan to be right.
"Let's go to the ship," Obi-Wan suggested. "We'll try to raise Wren on his comlink. Then we will make the decision about Floria." He put his hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Together."
Anakin nodded. He realized that Obi-Wan had just given him a kind of apology. It was just like Obi-Wan to veil it in lessons.
____________________
"You knew Floria wasn't telling the truth from the beginning, didn't you?"
"I suspected as much," Obi-Wan admitted. "But I had no way of knowing what she was concealing."
"I believed her story," Anakin said, frowning. "Why didn't the Force warn me?"
Obi-Wan smiled. "The Force is not a truth serum, Padawan. The ability to read a being's true motives comes with experience and patience. I was once bad at it. Qui-Gon taught me how to look and listen. Floria betrayed herself by playing on our sympathies just a bit too much."
"And you knew they would find Teleq's ship and try to disable it."
"Experience," Obi-Wan said. "It tells me that beings follow their best interests. Floria and Dane have had to fight their way through the galaxy. They are used to looking out for themselves. Naturally they would still try to foil another bounty hunter winning the prize."
Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Do not trouble yourself, Padawan. You have an open heart. This is a good thing. With time you will learn the balance you need in a galaxy where all beings do not tell the truth. Your impulsiveness is a source of energy and power for you. But it can lead to trouble. You will learn to be more careful. Sometimes, it is better to walk than run."
"I got us into trouble with the malia, and then in the cavern," Anakin admitted. "I am sorry, Master."
"Danger finds us on every mission," Obi-Wan said. "Let us look forward."
____________________
Through the smoke and steam, he could see the sadness on his Master's face. The Force was strong here. His Master was reaching out to it and gathering it around, as though warming himself. Obi-Wan's gaze was far away.
"Master? Are you alright?"
"I am saying good-bye to a being I did not know," Obi-Wan said softly.
The reverence in his tone surprised Anakin. "He could have killed you."
"Yet he did not. There is always a need for grief when a being dies, Padawan. Qui-Gon taught me that."
Obi-Wan looked down into the steaming pool. "I saw someone take his own life in a pool like this one. It was Xanatos, Qui-Gon's greatest enemy. A being who hated Qui-Gon and who would stop at nothing to destroy him. Still, when he took his own life, Qui-Gon stopped to mourn his passing. I will never forget it."
Anakin nodded, though he did not understand. His greatest enemy so far in his life had been a slave trafficker named Krayn. When he had died, Anakin had not paused to mourn. Far from it. He had rejoiced in his death. It could only be good for the galaxy that such a terrible being had ceased to exist.
Something to meditate on in my next session, he thought. I'll add it to the list. The difference between Anakin's thoughts and Obi-Wan's lessons was sometimes more than he wanted to examine. It was a struggle to reconcile them.
____________________
"Young Padawan, if I can teach you one thing, it is this: Never underestimate an enemy. Or a friend."
____________________
"There are beings that Jedi call voids. At first sight they seem to give off no real energy, rather like a hologram. But only beings with great power can project a simple blank to a Jedi. Sometimes a void can be much more dangerous than a being who pulses with the Dark side of the Force. They are clever and focused enough to hide their Dark side, and hide it so well they can even hide it from Jedi for a time."
"I didn't think Jedi could be tricked that way," Anakin said.
"Jedi can be tricked, my young Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "They can be wrong. They can make mistakes. Do not forget that. We try to minimize those things by following our feelings and connecting to the Force. Yet we are not infalliable."
____________________
Unspeakable scenes flashed out at him, so quickly he could not absorb them. Murder. Suffering. Destruction.
Obi-Wan shut the case. He wiped the sweat on his brow. No, his Padawan must not see this.
"Master?"
Anakin had left the ship. He stood uncertainly a few meters away. "Did you find something?"
"It's nothing," Obi-Wan tucked the case inside his cloak. "We can take it back to the Temple for examination. Come, Padawan."
But Anakin did not move. "I need to know what you found. Don't you think I can feel it, too?"
He saw sweat on Anakin's forehead, saw the slight tremor in his knees.
He could discuss him. He could say, You do not need to know.
Would Qui-Gon have told him? Perhaps not. His Master revealed things in their own time.
Anakin met his gaze boldly. He would not back down. Obi-Wan saw that clearly. He would not allow the moment to pass. He would grab on to it, extend it, bend it to his will. He would do anything to obtain what he wanted.
He is so different from me, Obi-Wan thought again, bemused.
If he is so different from you, why do you treat him as though he is a younger version of you? Why do you act as you think Qui-Gon would have acted with you as his Padawan?
The question startled him. What was especially surprising was that he did not hear Qui-Gon's voice asking it. He heard his own.
Maybe it was time he stopped trying to be the Master Qui-Gon was. It was time to claim the role for himself.
"It is a Sith artifact," he told Anakin.
His Padawan swallowed. "I thought so."
____________________
"I owe you an apology, Padawan."
"For what, Master?"
"You said I never share my thoughts. Instead of answering, I corrected you." Obi-Wan stared down into his juice. "It is not easy for me to share my thoughts, or my feelings. And sometimes it is necessary that I do not. When I was your age, I felt the same as you do. I thought Master and Padawan had to share everything.'
"Don't they?"
"No," Obi-Wan said. "Their are times when you do not need to know what I am thinking. You must trust that I know best."
Anakin shook his head. "That's hard for me. I want to know everything."
"That is a quality I treasure in you," Obi-Wan said. "But it is also a quality you must learn to control." He gave Anakin a significant look. "There are things you keep from me, too."
"Not so!" Anakin protested.
"Midnight raids on junk heaps below the surface of Coruscant... a plan to build your own power converter..."
Anakin grinned. "Caught." He was starting to feel better.
He had worried that Obi-Wan did not have room for him in his heart. But Shmi's smile rose in Anakin's mind. Hearts have infinite room, my son.
____________________
"I think I know what you're thinking," Obi-Wan said, noting Anakin's sigh. "It was not the training mission I thought it would be, either. I thought I had things to teach you. Instead, you taught me."
"I taught you?" Anakin was surprised. "What?"
"That I am not Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said. "And you are not me. Simple as that."
"Simple is sometimes best," Anakin said, repeating Obi-Wan's words.
"We are on a journey together, Padawan." Obi-Wan clicked his glass against Anakin's. "We will forge our own path. Let us drink to that."
27 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 14 years of age)
____________________
Fourteen-year-old Anakin Skywalker swerved the Galan starfighter to avoid a cruiser trying to cut in the line waiting to land. "Watch it, you gravel-maggot!" he yelled, even though he knew the pilot couldn't hear him.
Beside him, his Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi, cleared his throat.
"I know, I know," Anakin said. "Feel my anger, and let it go. But do I have to be a Jedi all the time, even in space traffic?" He flashed a grin at his Master. He knew the answer.
"You are a Jedi every moment," Obi-Wan said. "Even when another cruiser is sneaking in to your right."
"What?" Anakin wrenched his attention back to his piloting. A silver star cruiser was attempting to nose in - Anakin swerved to the left and then slid neatly into the empty slot ahead.
Obi-Wan leaned back in his seat. "If you allowed someone to cut in line, we would lose five minutes' time. Would that be so bad?"
His Master could always find an opportunity for a lesson, even while waiting to land in a crowded spacelane. "I guess not," Anakin said. "We're not in a hurry. But it's not right for them to try to sneak ahead of others."
"No," Obi-Wan said. "But that is the other pilot's choice. By trying to prevent him, you are feeding your own anger and impatience. Perhaps that is worse."
Anakin saw his Master's point. That was the trouble. Obi-Wan always made sense.
____________________
"It's got to be calibrated exactly right," Anakin was saying to two young Aleena mechanics standing nearby. "We might have to do it fifty times to get it right. Or we might get lucky and get it right in two."
"I hope it's the latter," Obi-Wan said. "Because there is a mission you should be attending to."
Anakin stood up so abruptly that he banged his head on the turbine. "Master, I didn't see you."
Obi-Wan examined the podracer. "I see that you're busy."
"I thought I'd lend a hand to Doby and Deland. They're from Tatooine." Anakin looked uncomfortable. "If they win, they free their sister. She's a slave."
"I see." Obi-Wan nodded at the two brothers. "I wish you good luck. Anakin, may I speak with you a moment?"
He drew Anakin aside. "You know this is wrong," he told his Padawan with a frown. "I'm sure you are helping for the right reasons. But this is not our mission. We have more important things to do. And may I remind you that Podracing is illegal?"
"But the Ruling Power is looking the other way -"
"But the Games Council is concerned. As should you be. Once word gets out, spectators will arrive. This could turn into a dangerous situation. Do you know what the course will be?"
"Through the caves," Anakin said excitedly. "Can you imagine the difficulties? And they've already thought about the spectators. They're going to set up a viewing stand near the finish line."
"That doesn't mean that they will be safe."
____________________
Although he was irritated with Anakin for heading straight for the Podraces, he was always glad to see how Anakin's generosity endeared him to others. Strangers became friends quickly for his Padawan.
Anakin connected to the Living Force as Qui-Gon had. He had that gift. What he needed to develop was Qui-Gon's wisdom. That would only take time and missions.
And mistakes. He could hear Qui-Gon's dry tone in his head.
____________________
He drew Anakin aside. "I think we should pursue this," he said. "If some of the events are fixed, it could cause major trouble. It could be a serious disruption of the peace."
We're wasting our time on this. I could be with the Podracers. I could be helping Doby and Deland. They are trying to free their sister. Didi is trying to win a bet. Which is more important?
Anakin hid his disappointment with a frown. "Who is Fligh? Do you trust him?"
"Trust him?" Obi-Wan grimaced. "Not at all. But if he's heard something, we could have problems even if the information is false. Fligh hangs around the Senate. He knows everyone and passes along information for credits. If he's heard an event is fixed, he isn't the only one who thinks this." He sighed. "As much as I'd love to walk away from this, I'm afraid we'll have to investigate." Obi-Wan gave Anakin a careful look. "What is wrong, Padawan?"
"It seems... a waste of time to me," Anakin said, reluctant to contradict his Master. "We are here as peacekeepers. There is a better use of Jedi time." He did not mention Doby and Deland, but he knew his Master would know what he was not saying.
Obi-Wan nodded as if considering Anakin's opinion. "What do you think would be a better use of our time?"
Anakin looked down and said nothing.
"Tell me," Obi-Wan continued, "what do you think would happen if it was discovered that some of the events are fixed?"
Anakin shrugged. "Some will be upset. Especially those who have placed illegal bets."
"What about the planets involved? If it appears that some have cheated, or conspired to defraud the Games, how will other worlds react? Each world sends the very best of its athletes to compete in the Games. These beings are often great heroes on their homeworlds. What if they are denied their victories because an event is fixed?"
"I guess it could create some unrest," Anakin said, after a pause.
"Yes, young Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "Hundreds of thousands of beings are crammed into one city. All have come to cheer their heroes of their future heroes. It may not seem an important lead for us to follow, but missions don't always start out with a battle. Some times they begin with something insignificant. Something unimportant. Part of being a Jedi is to recognize the small thing that can change everything."
"If it is so small, how can we recognize it?"
"We take ourselves out of what we are looking at," Obi-Wan answered.
Anakin scowled. "I don't understand."
Obi-Wan put his hand on Anakin's shoulder. "I know. That is why you are still a Padawan. Someday you will."
____________________
He made his way back to the quarters. Anakin knelt by Aarno Dering, his hand on the man's shoulder. Obi-Wan knew immediately that he was dead.
He walked to Anakin and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. They stood for a moment, a linked chain of commemoration. A Jedi always paused to reflect on a life lost, even if they did not know the spirit who had left.
"There was nothing I could do." Anakin's face was pale. He had seen death before, but he was still affected by it. Obi-Wan was glad to see this. He hoped Anakin would never lose that particular vulnerability. There had been a time when he had wondered if Anakin failed to connect, a time when he had seen a curious blankness on the boy's face after he had killed in battle. Since that time, Obi-Wan had watched Anakin carefully. When he saw his Padawan feel the enormity of a life lost, he was reassured.
____________________
"I have more things to learn about patience," he said. "I don't know how you keep your temper sometimes, Master."
"Indulging momentary irritation is nothing more than a distraction," Obi-Wan answered.
____________________
The problem of Anakin entering the Podrace had never left Obi-Wan's mind. Why had his Padawan done such a thing without telling him? It was not the first time Anakin's impulsiveness had worried and alarmed Obi-Wan.
His comlink signaled. Anakin was calling. Obi-Wan answered.
"Master, things have developed here," Anakin said. "Sebulba has recognized me. Because of that, Deland stepped in to avoid a fight and was injured. He cannot race. I... I offered to race in his place. Doby and Deland are trying to free their sister -"
"And is that your mission on Euceron, to free Djulla?" Obi-Wan asked sternly.
"No," Anakin said. "But was it Qui-Gon's mission to free me? Must we follow a mission so exactly that we turn our backs on beings who need help? Every mission has a detour. You've told me that."
"I've also told you that it is the mark of a Jedi to recognize whether or not to follow the detour," Obi-Wan reminded him.
"Then I ask you to let me make this choice," Anakin replied.
His Padawan's voice was firm. There was no pleading, no uncertainty. He wanted what he wanted. Was that the right thing in this circumstance?
Obi-Wan pondered the problem. "Have you learned anything else?" he asked.
"The Podrace is scheduled to take place this afternoon at three. A viewing area has been set up for spectators in the underground caves. Sebulba has placed enormous bets on his son to win. The official timekeeper is suposed to send the Podrace route directly to onboard computers. But I don't know who will take over the job now that Dering is dead. I think the best way I can find out how the race is fixed and who is behind it is to enter it myself."
"All right," Obi-Wan said reluctantly. He did not like the sound of pleasure in Anakin's voice. He would ask Siri and Ry-Gaul to send Ferus and Tru to observe while Anakin piloted the podracer. He could not be there with his Padawan, but he did not want Anakin to be alone.
____________________
Suddenly, he felt very tired. He saw the faces as a blur. Liviani Sarno, looking strangely pale. His Master, looking grave but relieved. And Sebulba, snarling at him, waving his arms and crying "Foul!"
Hot anger spilled through Anakin. He threw off his goggles and vaulted out of the podracer.
"You!" he thundered at Hekula and Sebulba. "You're the cheats!"
Because of them, countless innocent beings might have been killed. Anakin had no doubt that Sebulba had been the one behind the sabotage of Deland's podracer. They could not completely rely on getting the track information first. They had to destroy their closest rival. It was just like Sebulba to go that one, cruel step further.
The red mist he had come to recognize as rage filled his vision, driving out the memory of the clarity of the Force. He could see nothing but his rage against Sebulba, at anyone who would risk so many lives just to win.
"Slave boy! You have to cheat to win! There's no mother watching this time to disapprove!"
The taunting words filled his head and the red mist grew dense and hot.
He reached down for his lightsaber, but a strong hand closed over his.
"No, Padawan."
Obi-Wan's voice reached him as if from a long distance.
"He did it." Anakin struggled to keep the rage away. He pictured the red mist leaving him, floating over a distant hill. "He deserves to be punished."
"No." Obi-Wan's voice was stronger still. He drew Anakin away. "Listen to me, Padawan. Sebulba did not cheat. It was Doby and Deland."
Anakin blinked. He could not absorb the words. "It was..."
"They made a deal with Maxo Vista. They would have advance knowledge of the Podrace track. What they didn't know was that Vista was going to sabotage the Podracer. He wanted a fireball, a tremendous accident to occur."
"That means that... I was getting advance track information, not Hekula," Anakin said slowly. "It wasn't just the Force." That explained Hekula's sometimes puzzling failure to get ahead. He looked around. "Where are they?"
"They've disappeared with Djulla," Obi-Wan said. "I am sure they did it to save their sister. She has been freed, and they are gone. They most likely hid a transport nearby."
Sebulba was still watching him. Hekula sat slumped in his podracer, too stunned to emerge. "You'll pay for this, slave boy!" Sebulba snarled.
Anakin took a step toward him but again his Master stopped him.
"He is my enemy," Anakin said.
"You are a Jedi," Obi-Wan told him. His voice was low and pitched only for Anakin. "You are a Jedi," he repeated.
The mist in Anakin's head cleared. He took a breath and looked around. Ferus Olin was watching him, as he always was, his dark eyes gleaming with secret knowledge, as if he had glimpsed the red mist that was Anakin's rage. Tru nodded at him, his expression showing only loyalty and affection. Ry-Gaul appeared to be guarding Liviani Sarno.
Nothing was as he thought it would be. He felt his legs trembling. He had almost lost control in front of his fellow Padawans and two Jedi Masters. He had come so close.
Obi-Wan's voice was gentle. "Come, Padawan. There is a mission to complete."
____________________
Anakin was waiting. When he told him what had occurred, his Padawan was furious. "How can they do this? Maxo Vista and Liviani Sarno are guilty! And they are going to walk free! This is an injustice!" Anakin's words echoed off the hard plastoid walls of the Grand Court.
"It is a hard thing to see happen," Obi-Wan agreed. "But sometimes even when the mission is successful, justice is not done. It happens. At least the Commerce Guild did not get what they wanted. No spectators were killed and their legislation may be defeated by those they wished to disgrace."
"And Aarno Dering? Maxo Vista will get away with murder!"
"That is the hardest of all," Obi-Wan said.
____________________
"Nothing has turned out as I thought," Anakin said. "I was here to work on my Jedi lesson of connection to the Living Force. If that is true, I've failed. I judged everyone wrong. I did not see Doby and Deland were using me. I trusted my instincts, and they betrayed me."
"Dot judge yourself so harshly, Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "Your mistake was one of the heart. You allowed your emotion to cloud your instincts. You allowed what your heart wanted to be true to make it true. Connections to other beings, good and bad, must be pure and free of one's own desires. You wanted Sebulba to be a culprit, so you made him one."
"I thought my connection to the Living Force was clear, and it's not at all," Anakin said moodily. "I have such a long way to go."
"If it makes you feel better, I made the same mistake with Maxo Vista," Obi-Wan said. "Jedi lessons are learned by Masters as well as Padawans."
"Wisdom comes with time and missions," Anakin said, repeating Obi-Wan's own words.
Obi-Wan smiled gently. "And mistakes," he said.
26 years before the Battle of Yavin - (Anakin Skywalker is 15 years of age)
____________________
Obi-Wan saw his Padawan swallow. Anakin's eyes looked dark in his pale face. Obi-Wan knew that his Padawan felt responisble. Anakin had leaped impulsively, not trusting Darra to evade the fire. As usual, his Padawan had thought that he was faster, stronger, than anyone else.
The problem was that it was often true. But not always.
____________________
Obi-Wan nodded. He was glad Soara didn't hold Anakin's rash actions during the battle against him.
But when he told his Padawan their plan, Anakin seemed crestfallen at not being included in the attack.
Obi-Wan felt exasperated. Anakin's reaction seemed that of a boy, anxious to be in on the action. It wasn't worthy of his Padawan. "This is important," he told him. "You need to protect the scientists and Darra. Soara and I won't be long."
"But you might need me," Anakin said. "It's a large patrol."
"We have surprise on our side. No Padawan. You must remain here."
"I would not fail you this time," Anakin promised.
Obi-Wan saw it then, the hunger on Anakin's face. It was not a hunger for action. It was the need to redeem himself.
Obi-Wan spoke gently. "The best thing you can do for Darra is to remain here to protect her."
Anakin looked down, struggling to accept the order. "As you wish, Master."
"You must keep your focus, Padawan," Obi-Wan murmured, so that the others wouldn't overhear. "This is not a judgment on you. This is the best way to proceed."
Anakin nodded, keeping his eyes down. "All right," he muttered.
Obi-Wan hesitated. Now he could feel the shame behind Anakin's questions. His Padawan's feelings ran deep. His shame was filling him now, and he thought that only action could relieve it. He was wrong, but Obi-Wan would need time to explain why this was so.
He knew that his Padawan needed him. Yet he had to go. He struggled for words to leave behind, but he had none. The only thing left to do was walk away.
____________________
Obi-Wan sat down beside him and waited for him to turn.
"A mission?" Anakin asked hopefully.
"No, we are at the Temple for a while," Obi-Wan said. "I haven't told you something I discovered on Haariden, something I told the Council about. That patrol was paid to attack us by Granta Omega."
Anakin felt the nerves inside his body tighten. He realized he had been waiting for this. He had wanted to pursue Omega after their experience on Ragoon-6.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
"You had enough to think about."
Anakin knew that his Master meant his concern for Darra. He had haunted the med clinic until he knew she would fully recover.
"Are we going after him?" Anakin asked.
"Jocasta Nu is helping me do some research," Obi-Wan said. Anakin realized this wasn't quite an answer. "In the meantime," Obi-Wan continued, "I have something for you to do."
"I am ready, Master."
"I have arranged a private lightsaber tutorial for you with Soara Antana."
Anakin felt his heart fall. Shame filled him. "Because of that happened on Haariden."
"Yes," Obi-Wan said. "There is no blame, Padawan. Yet, there are things you need to learn. Things I have not been able to teach you."
"There is nothing you can't teach me, Master," Anakin argued. But the real reason for Anakin's disquiet was a secret fear that Obi-Wan planned to leave him behind like a schoolboy, taking lessons.
"This is not your decision, Padawan." Obi-Wan's tone was sharp. "This is a great honor for you. Soara rarely takes individual students. She would not agree if she didn't think you had great potential."
Anakin fought with his feelings. He did not want to confess to his Master that he was afraid Obi-Wan would leave him. "Yes, Master."
The stern lines of Obi-Wan's face relaxed into a smile at Anakin's obedient tone. "You might have fun."
Anakin looked at him with such disbelief that Obi-Wan's smile turned into a laugh.
____________________
Obi-Wan had been in the small ship's library, checking the geological reports on Haariden. He came to sit by Anakin. "Not much longer. Is there something you want to discuss with me, Padawan?"
He wasn't ready to talk about it. "No," Anakin said.
Obi-Wan hesitated. "Before I arrived, did you talk much to the others?"
Anakin nodded. "They fed me false information about Granta Omega. They were making things up to tease me even as he sat right in front of me. I see that now. I feel foolish."
"It is not something to feel foolish about. Those who set out to deceive are the true fools." Obi-Wan paused. "And Omega himself? What did you think of him?"
The gentleness in his Master's tone undid Anakin's reserve. "I liked him," he burst out. "How could I like such a being?"
"I would guess that is because he is likable," Obi-Wan said dryly.
His Master's calmness made Anakin feel better. "Shouldn't the Force have alerted me to the Dark side in him?"
"Not necessarily," Obi-Wan said. "The Force is not a truth-detector. We can rely on it, but we can't expect it to save us. We must save ourselves. We must use our own intuition, our own intelligence. Your feelings about Granta Omega don't have anything to do with the Force. They have everything to do with experience."
"Meaning I don't have enough?"
"Maybe," Obi-Wan said. "Perhaps I wouldn't have picked up on Omega's true character, either. But I have seen enough to know that evil can wear a charming face, my young Padawan. Charsima is not a virtue. It's a trait. It is not good or bad. Evil people can possess it. They often do and it is what makes them dangerous."
"He says he is a seeker, just as the Jedi are," Anakin said. "He says the Jedi fear the Sith, but they know nothing of them."
"He is wrong," Obi-Wan said. "The Jedi have deep knowledge of the